Havent posted in awhile. Guess many things that’ve happened recently can’t be put into a just few words or a post.Or maybe a blog’s no place to post about such things. Well I dont wanna sound emo but what’s the point of forcing happiness when it’s only gonna make you tired and angry? Heh I need to lighten up. Take a break from all my thoughts and emotions. Or maybe I need to find myself again. Outside I am the same yet inside something’s wrong and screwed man. Damn. And season’s drawing so near. Getting affected by all the shit. My playing sucks. Can’t seem to perform well on court in front of the jc seniors. I just aint good enough. And as if my life aint screwed up enough,I just had to discover that you cant trust no one. I’m just gonna forget about it. Dont give a shit anymore and it aint important to me now. I’ve stopped trusting -. All my hopes I placed on -? Yeah they’re gone so I just wanna be left alone damn.

Ahh hols are here. Trainings, movies, slacking at home here I come *grins* I SO WANNA GO ICE SKATING MANS. Havent skated in 3 months haha. Well guess that’s if I have time apart from trainings and tuitions and all. Oh and training on sat was kinda fun. We played half court with the seniors and I kept forgetting that the sec ones werent on my team. Haha so I was kinda confused and all. Guess I still got alot to learn. And also gotta build up mental and physical strength. If that’s possible for me. I don’t wanna be all words but no actions so I’ll try my best (:

BLADES OF GLORY. Okay three words to say. A MUST WATCH. Heh really really funny mans. I was laughing so much I banged my head on the legs of the person behind me. Heh. Well gotta go now. the watermelon’s calling out to mehaha. G’bye (:

Things seem pretty bad now eh? Guess it’s the worry and stress and all. Well I know it’s all gonna be okay so yup (: We’re gonna talk then after we talk hopefully all the misunderstandings will clear up too. Maybe it might be too late for me to apologize for everything I’ve said or done. I don’t know but I’m gonna try. I feel so screwed cause I’m all confused. So many things are happening now. But it’s clearing up. My head’s clearing and I know what to do. I hate myself for what I’ve become now. Just gonna stop everything and change.Just want things back to normal. After the talk, i know it’ll all be okay (:

I never thought the day would come to say sorry for the things I’ve done
I know the list is long but that’s all on me,
I can’t really find the words to make ones I’ve hurt,
But I hope they see this side of me.

You ripped apart my insides
You know that I can’t sleep.
You tear apart my whole life
You take the best of me

Open house was yesterday. Well we were supposed to meet in school at 9 but ah jie, anna, hui ying, nazi and me met up for breakfast at kap at 7.45. Man I slept for only 6 hours that night -.- the things I do for the rest heh. Anyway, after breakfast we left for school and realised that mrs bowness had thrown away all our basketball stuff. The boards, pictures and everything. Said she thought it was rubbish. Maybe we shouldnt have cluttered her office but we kinda thought it was common sense to ask whether we wanted it firstbefore throwing it away. The sec 3s had to redo everything. No wonder they left trng early on friday. Ahwells at least we got it all done.

We kinda had to use the outdoor courts cause the netballers used the indoor court. And the sun was scorching hot so most of us got sun burnt haha. Well I had to look after Rio again and that kid is real adorable. Heh but ohmans we had to run after him all the time so much that ah jie and anna got so flustered heh. But it was worth it (: Played squash a little after we arrived and I LOST TO RIO -.- But I won the game with ah jie *grins* Though we werent playing properly. I don’t even know how to hold a racket for goodness sake. Heh. Mm at about 10 smth we kidna went to look at all the i and e stalls. And shuwen kept asking me to buy her heart straws haha. She was like “buy for me buy for me” and i was all “no no buy for MEMEMEME” Hahaha.And they were selling balloons and I got one for Rio cause he wanted a balloon race haha. And when we let go off the balloons, shuwen started wailing and she was all “i took so LONG to tie those balloons” Haha and she wanted to come strangle me hahaha. And ah jie and anna had to buy lip gloss or smth cause one of our senior’s friends kept pulling them over so they had to buy haha. Poor things. Well I guess open house was quite okay though last year was fun-ER Partly cause last year we had indoor courts so we didn’t have to be under the HOT HOT sun haha. Ahwells nevermind i got TANNER. Yayie *grins* Well guess i’ll stop here. Gonna go to church soon. G’bye

Their stony hearts match the gazes full of malice

We glance questioninly, and recieve mocking laughter

We’ve done nothing wrong, and we know it

Yet they judge us for the smallest thing

Jealousy can do so much, can’t it? Jealousy, desperateness, wanting everything yet getting nothing. Things don’t always go according to plan. We just gotta give and take. Why can’t they learn that? High expectations. What’s wrong with that? It is those that aim high, try to reach towards the highest point that actually make it in life. Grumbling, complaining, bitching ain’t gonna take us anywhere. So why bitch? Why do they only wanna take? Life’s full of obstacles. Those that work hard to get past them are successes. Those that whine, grumble, complaing and bitch are those that are FAILURES. They can only whine, yet they don’t achieve anything by whining. Bitching is their only weapon. They bitch about those who try hard. They bitch about those who have high expectations. Maybe they only do that because they do not set high expectations for themselves? Why judge us when they dont’ take a good look at themselves? Ain’t gonna do anything muh. We have to work together after all. But why are they making things so difficult for us? I can never be who I am in front pf them. When I let myself be who I am, I recieve hurtful words behind my back. So do the others. We’re all being attacked. But we shouldnt bother. Why bother getting affected by them?ain’t much to get bothered about. Their mouth’s theirs. We can’t change them. We can only have patience, and remember not to be like them. That’s all we can do. 

Daddy daddy don’t leave

Mummy’s saying things she don’t mean

BEAR IN THE BIG BLUE HOUSE *grins* Doing that for comp studies yaye. Still remember the good old days haha. Used to watch it every morning Well I’m kinda blurred out. Not doing much haha. Michelle’s doing most of it :/ Sorry mans. But imovie’s not my thing (: Just slacking now. Blog hoppinbg and all. There’s this stupid ass who tagged as anonymous in chels’s blog insulting her and all. Man, he or she’s such a coward. Heh ahwells ain’t gonna bother us much anyway.
Training later Hope it doesn’t rain so we can do stuff on the court. Defence and attack and all Though it might be physical. But NEVERMIND. Just DON’T RAIN MANS. Haha. I’m all sleepy now. Should have slept earlier last night. Stupid television -.- Heh. Well 5 mins more. Gonna watch my video for now Haha. G’BYE

Twelve minutes. I don’t know if I can make it. I can only try my best. I want to get into the team. And so do the others. We all want to. But under twelve minutes? My timing for 2.4 napfa sucked. And I know if we all concentrate and not give up, we can all make it. Just that I’m afraid of the consequences. I know what the consequences are if I don’t make it. So it’s all or nothing. Man to talk about it is easy. But to do it properly. I WANNA DO IT PROPERLY. Just a little faster. Just a little bit faster. We can all make it. No use blaming teo or anything. This is a test, and we will pass it. Though to speak of it is easy, we’ll prove that we can do it too! Shooting, layups. We’ll pass all of that too. One year and five months. We’ve been training all that time for a purpose. Ms Cheong said to find it. Not for yourself, but for SCGS basketball. For the team. Well I know what I have to give up. I wont try to pursue it any further. Pushed out? Nevermind. If I’m not strong enough, then let the stronger ones get into the five. Do your best for the team, not for yourself. I know I cannot ever hope to be inside. So I will be content with whatever position I get, whatever time I play. I’m gonna try my best at everything. I don’t want to force anyone to give up anything for me. Think ofthe best for the team, and I know what’s best for it. Not for myself, but for the team. And we will win, for sc basketball.

I dunno why I’m typing all of this. Just that it’s all bursting out and I just wanna let it all out. Well its easy to type but can we really do it? I guess that’s all up to us. Ms Cheong can only do so much. The rest is up to us. We HAVE to do our best. I want it. We all want it. We want to win for scgs. So no regrets. We have to make sacrifices to achieve greater things as a team. I know what I have to sacrifice. Well I want us to win so no problem (:

Anyway, today’s chinese opera thing was kinda boring. Slept through the whole thing. Heh stupid steph kept slapping my face :/ Let me sleep I need my sleep! Pooo. Haha. See alliteration? Stupid Steph. Just like “C”ool “C”heryl is an alliteration too *grins* Haha (: Well training tomorrow. No fear, we’ll get through it as a team. All for one, one for all eh? Team spirit. We’ll show Ms Cheong we got it mans. Sc c’ div, we can do it (:

Three posts yesterday. Haha guess I was real bored. Well I’m standing up and using the comp now. Just finished eating I’m full *burps* Heehee. The pumpkin soup was good, though I wonder which smartass invented it heh. Well anyway, the june hols start next friday! Then it’s really really intensive training for us. though it already started but ahwells it’ll get tougher and tougher (: I can’t wait for the desaru trip! We’re going with the swimmers. Hmm wonder what kinda training we’ll be having there. Physical? Well hope we get to bond loads Though I think I lost my packing list whoopsie :/ Heh.

Got really large ulcers in my throat now. Makes it so difficult to eat or drink anything. Must have been the mee goreng haha. Well today’s training was okay I guess. I just don’t see why I’m always pushed out. I wanna grow stronger, I wanna be bigger so I can be a better back. If I can’t be a forward, I wanna be a good back. Well no complaints, everything happens for a reason. When we feel that God has deserted us, when we’re in the lowest valley, that’ll be when He takes us to the highest mountains and lets us soar with Him. I just gotta have faith and perseverance (:

CHELS MY POST ARENT EMO OKAY. Haha I bet your blog’s full of bimbo-ish posts. I aint like you mans haha. Anyway, you’re going all emo agian right? Don’t worry you have ellery to comfort you heh. The bet is officially off so you two can ERHUM ERHUM And you can get free bags haha.So yaye but don’t go flirting again. I’ll punch your face. Heh that you then sucked. You’re much better now so STAY THAT WAY. Okay I’ve finished lecturing you hahaha. *punches your face* Stay madden always mans. Haha.

Well guess the panadol’s working. Headache’s almost gone. Mabye I shouldnt be using the comp :/ Hahaha. Okay then I shall stop here g’bye (: