Yay today’s the start of basketball camp! Gonna head off to school in about half an hour’s time. Was actually supposed to wake up at around ummmmmm NOW but I woke up at 5.15 instead and couldnt get back to sleep heh. Anyway I can’t wait for camp! And the match today. I’m gonna have to bring eggs and soft drinks for sabo hahaha. Yup so the past two nights’ve been totally weird. I kept dreaming of the same thing over and over -.- No wonder I can’t get back to sleep. Maybe if you think too much about someone, you’ll start dreaming of that person? Haha okay think there’s no logic.

Anyway was looking through blogs and found this song, it’s really sweet (:

Not a day goes by that I don’t need you in my life
Was it something that I did, tell me why
And I can’t get pass the pain to your love is just a memory
Gradually, you slip away And all I can say is stay

Can somebody please, stop this hurt inside
Although, your love for me has changed
After all the pain you’ve cost I still can’t get you outta my mind
No matter what you say I can’t let go…

As time goes by, will our memories fade
Tell me how can you go on after all that we’ve been through
I don’t wanna go on without you in my life
Because in my heart I still believe that you…
Will come back to me

I’m begging you please…
Stop this hurt inside although your love for me has changed
After all the pain you’ve cost I still can’t get you outta my mind
No matter what you say I can’t let go…

As time goes by, will our memories fade
Tell me how can you go on after all that we’ve been through
I don’t wanna go on without you in my life
Because in my heart I still believe that you

Do I ever cross your mind
Did you even stop to cry?
In my heart you’ll always stay,
Don’t let us slip away
Though I’ve tried I can’t let go you’re still the one for me
We can work it out in your love I still believe
You are the one

As time goes by won’t let our memories fade
Tell me how can you go on after all that we’ve been thru
I won’t let you go on without me in your life
Because in my heart we’re meant to be in love
As Time Goes By

I don’t really know how to express this but ohman, I miss you so much Van. I know we’ve both been caught up in our own stuff, especially me with my basketball. But I don’t know why, everytime I talk to you, it cheers me up loads and lifts my spirits. I just feel so refreshed and we can talk so easily, even if we haven’t talked for months. I guess your a different sort of friend, special and just magnificent. I gotta admit, I was feeling really down just now. But when you called me and after we talked, I felt much much better. I don’t know why but I just did. Something about you always cheers me up (: I’m gonna miss you so so much. I guess this came a bit late but really, you’re a great friend and don’t worry about vjc, you’ll be just fine. I’ll be supporting you all the way. It’ll hurt after our 8 years of being in the same school and being friends (remember the days in tap dance and that time I thought I broke my spine?) but I promise I’ll try my best not to let our friendship grow weak. We’ll be able to stay best friends, I know it (: We’ve done it and we’ll continue doing it yeah. Love you loads van! (:

And this post’s also gonna be for jie (: Jie you know I cant continue to sms you at night cause of my bill but know that I’m always thinking of you yeah (: Don’t ever give up! I can’t say I understand how you feel cooped up in there with someone like that but just know I’ll be behind you always. I miss you loads, especially in basketball. I miss your laughter, your comfort, your jokes. And how you always supported me no matter what. And I miss my “partner in crime”. You cheer up yeah. We’ll be here always and jia you! I love you jie!<3

I miss my two special friends.

Today’s a saturday! Lalalala cartoon day hahaha. Actually missed most of the morning’s cartoons cause of tuition but ah wells heh. Watching teenage mutant ninga turtles (there’s no other show to watch) and they’re stuffing popcorn into each other’s faces :p damn amusing man. I remember I used to like the orange one, dont know why either, and jie jie samantha would ask why and i’d say “cause he’s ORANGE!” Hahaha I was such a weirdo man.

Yup training yesterday felt different without teo training us. He’s just so damn retarded. There’s a big bruise now just above my right ankle cause he flung a ball unto my leg on purpose -.- Well we did some kinda fast break cut thing and loads of other stuff that made me ze and yao quite confused cause we havent trained with them for pretty long. But I think we got it in the end We played 5 on 5 after the drills. It was damn depressing :/ I’m gonna go play ball and try to improve by myself now. Maybe ze’ll come on tue to play with me at summerhill :p I know she wants to see err those people but it’d be so awkward if I see them again haha. And I shall go play ball on sun before the party downstairs. I know what ze means about itching to play ball. I’m itching to play ball too! And I shall scratch that itch! Haha.

Anyway tonight you shall tell me another story yeah? Teddy and the beanstalk :p Well gonna go out soon. I wanna watch game plan poooooooo heh. And I still think bee movie’s really really funny haha. Went out with yao, ze and some of the sec ones to watch and andrea and ze spilt milo into their bags cause we were trying to hide our food. Andrea’s bag looked like there was a brown river flowing in it hahahaha. Hope your crumpler’s okay tigger! Mm gonna go off now

They say what breaks you, makes you. Sounds kinda harsh actually, but I guess that’s the truth. I’ll be lying if I say I’m happy I met all those obstacles, met all those people. But they’ve taught me lessons and I guess that’s the way to grow up. How hard it is to let go of the past. There’re so many times I wished fervently to turn back time, do things differently. Sounds cliche I know, but that’s how it is. My life’s full of “what ifs”. And all those possibilities happen in my dream and there, I live in my own enchanted world where things go smoothly, everyone’s happy and laughing and there’s no sadness. Yet when I wake up, the dream’s shattered and I realise the people’re still the same, my life’s still the same. I’m not bleating out complaints, I know I’m really lucky to have everything I have. It’s just, if I weren’t so foolish, I wouldnt have done things I shouldn’t have done. And yeah, that’s another “what if” again.

My memories seemed to be grouped into many catogaries. Recent memories, old memories, happy memories, sad ones and the list goes on. As I think back, I realise I have “what ifs” in all of them. And in the more painful ones, “what if” becomes “I should have”. Yet I didn’t and now I’m regretting. People say to live life without any regrets. Do things you wanna do. But what if you do things that you wanted to do and you regret doing them?Ah this’s getting rather upsetting. I shouldnt think too much.

The past’s the past and it’s filled with lessons and people that’ve taught me many things. The most painful ones are the most significant ones. I’m not happy I’ve gone through them yet I’m happy they’ve taught me something. A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. Got that off the toilet wall in school and it makes sense (: Yucks all this sounds so sad-ish. Well I’m gonna watch my show now heh.

Whoohoo trng today really fun. I feel all fresh now unlike janweewee heh. Cant believe you’re gonna go to the library like that. We’re gonna for prata again on wed yay. LISA CHAN BETTER COME OKAY. Lazyyy pig -.- heh

Think ze and me’s gonna sleep real early on tue night. Haha on the bus i was gonna say 9smth then i dont know whta happened and 6 o clock slipped out. Well not exactly, i said ssss then stopped myself and ze burst out laughin and said SIX O CLOCK?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! haha. Sleep early, its good (: Trying to get rid of my eyebags heh.

Woke up at 6.30 this morning and started counting mentally in my head the number of hours i slept. Kinda weird eh? I’m trying to get enough sleep heh. Anyway it was raining and i got soaked through when walking towards the busstop. When i got down the bus and crossed the road to ccab, a kind elderly lady offered to share her umbrella with me (: I kept bumping into her hip when i walked and felt so bad man. Got to ccab and while i was drawing nearer to the steps, i saw andrea and thought she was amanda. And i was wondering cause i thought the sec 4s were doing their os today. Anyway i just kept my head down and when i saw andrea i was all “-.-” haha. Apparently she was waiting for serene so I went to the court and found NOBODY there and NO balls there either. Was really early, maybe i shld have woken up later, get more sleep heh. Found out later that none of us brought the balls so sarah had to lug it all the way to ccab.Sorry :/

 Only 6 of us turned up for trng cause the rest of the sec ones had weird excuses. Think teo was kinda pissed cause he booked the court and not a lot of people turned up. So we did 3 on 4, teo with the sec ones, and other matches. Yay hope we play like that on wed but i doubt it. Think we’ll do drills on wed. HA i told teo i’d lose to him. I feel damn ugh playing with him. It’s as if im damn weak and he can defend me so easily. Ahwells im gonna train harder and smarter (: Apparently he said he wanted to play with me cause he hadnt played one on one with me for a really long time and he wanted to see how i improved. Hope i did, but maybe not haha.

Gonna go watch the bee movie tonight (: The one with the dead insect on the car’s front window (whatever its called) heh. Guess i’ll go change now. Don’t wake up late on wed janweewee! And lisa chan must come too! I wanna drink my teh :p