They say what breaks you, makes you. Sounds kinda harsh actually, but I guess that’s the truth. I’ll be lying if I say I’m happy I met all those obstacles, met all those people. But they’ve taught me lessons and I guess that’s the way to grow up. How hard it is to let go of the past. There’re so many times I wished fervently to turn back time, do things differently. Sounds cliche I know, but that’s how it is. My life’s full of “what ifs”. And all those possibilities happen in my dream and there, I live in my own enchanted world where things go smoothly, everyone’s happy and laughing and there’s no sadness. Yet when I wake up, the dream’s shattered and I realise the people’re still the same, my life’s still the same. I’m not bleating out complaints, I know I’m really lucky to have everything I have. It’s just, if I weren’t so foolish, I wouldnt have done things I shouldn’t have done. And yeah, that’s another “what if” again.

My memories seemed to be grouped into many catogaries. Recent memories, old memories, happy memories, sad ones and the list goes on. As I think back, I realise I have “what ifs” in all of them. And in the more painful ones, “what if” becomes “I should have”. Yet I didn’t and now I’m regretting. People say to live life without any regrets. Do things you wanna do. But what if you do things that you wanted to do and you regret doing them?Ah this’s getting rather upsetting. I shouldnt think too much.

The past’s the past and it’s filled with lessons and people that’ve taught me many things. The most painful ones are the most significant ones. I’m not happy I’ve gone through them yet I’m happy they’ve taught me something. A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. Got that off the toilet wall in school and it makes sense (: Yucks all this sounds so sad-ish. Well I’m gonna watch my show now heh.