Today’s a saturday! Lalalala cartoon day hahaha. Actually missed most of the morning’s cartoons cause of tuition but ah wells heh. Watching teenage mutant ninga turtles (there’s no other show to watch) and they’re stuffing popcorn into each other’s faces :p damn amusing man. I remember I used to like the orange one, dont know why either, and jie jie samantha would ask why and i’d say “cause he’s ORANGE!” Hahaha I was such a weirdo man.

Yup training yesterday felt different without teo training us. He’s just so damn retarded. There’s a big bruise now just above my right ankle cause he flung a ball unto my leg on purpose -.- Well we did some kinda fast break cut thing and loads of other stuff that made me ze and yao quite confused cause we havent trained with them for pretty long. But I think we got it in the end We played 5 on 5 after the drills. It was damn depressing :/ I’m gonna go play ball and try to improve by myself now. Maybe ze’ll come on tue to play with me at summerhill :p I know she wants to see err those people but it’d be so awkward if I see them again haha. And I shall go play ball on sun before the party downstairs. I know what ze means about itching to play ball. I’m itching to play ball too! And I shall scratch that itch! Haha.

Anyway tonight you shall tell me another story yeah? Teddy and the beanstalk :p Well gonna go out soon. I wanna watch game plan poooooooo heh. And I still think bee movie’s really really funny haha. Went out with yao, ze and some of the sec ones to watch and andrea and ze spilt milo into their bags cause we were trying to hide our food. Andrea’s bag looked like there was a brown river flowing in it hahahaha. Hope your crumpler’s okay tigger! Mm gonna go off now

They say what breaks you, makes you. Sounds kinda harsh actually, but I guess that’s the truth. I’ll be lying if I say I’m happy I met all those obstacles, met all those people. But they’ve taught me lessons and I guess that’s the way to grow up. How hard it is to let go of the past. There’re so many times I wished fervently to turn back time, do things differently. Sounds cliche I know, but that’s how it is. My life’s full of “what ifs”. And all those possibilities happen in my dream and there, I live in my own enchanted world where things go smoothly, everyone’s happy and laughing and there’s no sadness. Yet when I wake up, the dream’s shattered and I realise the people’re still the same, my life’s still the same. I’m not bleating out complaints, I know I’m really lucky to have everything I have. It’s just, if I weren’t so foolish, I wouldnt have done things I shouldn’t have done. And yeah, that’s another “what if” again.

My memories seemed to be grouped into many catogaries. Recent memories, old memories, happy memories, sad ones and the list goes on. As I think back, I realise I have “what ifs” in all of them. And in the more painful ones, “what if” becomes “I should have”. Yet I didn’t and now I’m regretting. People say to live life without any regrets. Do things you wanna do. But what if you do things that you wanted to do and you regret doing them?Ah this’s getting rather upsetting. I shouldnt think too much.

The past’s the past and it’s filled with lessons and people that’ve taught me many things. The most painful ones are the most significant ones. I’m not happy I’ve gone through them yet I’m happy they’ve taught me something. A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. Got that off the toilet wall in school and it makes sense (: Yucks all this sounds so sad-ish. Well I’m gonna watch my show now heh.

Whoohoo trng today really fun. I feel all fresh now unlike janweewee heh. Cant believe you’re gonna go to the library like that. We’re gonna for prata again on wed yay. LISA CHAN BETTER COME OKAY. Lazyyy pig -.- heh

Think ze and me’s gonna sleep real early on tue night. Haha on the bus i was gonna say 9smth then i dont know whta happened and 6 o clock slipped out. Well not exactly, i said ssss then stopped myself and ze burst out laughin and said SIX O CLOCK?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! haha. Sleep early, its good (: Trying to get rid of my eyebags heh.

Woke up at 6.30 this morning and started counting mentally in my head the number of hours i slept. Kinda weird eh? I’m trying to get enough sleep heh. Anyway it was raining and i got soaked through when walking towards the busstop. When i got down the bus and crossed the road to ccab, a kind elderly lady offered to share her umbrella with me (: I kept bumping into her hip when i walked and felt so bad man. Got to ccab and while i was drawing nearer to the steps, i saw andrea and thought she was amanda. And i was wondering cause i thought the sec 4s were doing their os today. Anyway i just kept my head down and when i saw andrea i was all “-.-” haha. Apparently she was waiting for serene so I went to the court and found NOBODY there and NO balls there either. Was really early, maybe i shld have woken up later, get more sleep heh. Found out later that none of us brought the balls so sarah had to lug it all the way to ccab.Sorry :/

 Only 6 of us turned up for trng cause the rest of the sec ones had weird excuses. Think teo was kinda pissed cause he booked the court and not a lot of people turned up. So we did 3 on 4, teo with the sec ones, and other matches. Yay hope we play like that on wed but i doubt it. Think we’ll do drills on wed. HA i told teo i’d lose to him. I feel damn ugh playing with him. It’s as if im damn weak and he can defend me so easily. Ahwells im gonna train harder and smarter (: Apparently he said he wanted to play with me cause he hadnt played one on one with me for a really long time and he wanted to see how i improved. Hope i did, but maybe not haha.

Gonna go watch the bee movie tonight (: The one with the dead insect on the car’s front window (whatever its called) heh. Guess i’ll go change now. Don’t wake up late on wed janweewee! And lisa chan must come too! I wanna drink my teh :p

Now you’re gone
I wonder why
You left me here
I think about it on,
and on, and on, and on againI know you’re never coming back
I hope that you can hear me
I’m waiting to hear from you
Until I do..

You’re gone away
I’m left alone
A part of me
Is gone and I’m not moving on
So wait for me
I know the day will come
I’ll meet you there
no matter where life takes me to
I’ll meet you there
And even if I leave you here
I’ll meet you there

I wish I could have told you
the things I kept inside
but now I guess it’s just too late
So many things remind me of you
I hope that you can hear me
I miss you
This is good-bye one last time

You’re gone away
I’m left alone
A part of me
Is gone and I’m not moving on
So wait for me
I know the day will come
I’ll meet you there
no matter where life takes me to
I’ll meet you there
And even if I leave you here
I’ll meet you there

Meet you there..

And where I go
You’ll be there with me
Forever you’ll be right here with me

I’ll meet you there
no matter where life takes me to
I’ll meet you there
And even if I leave you here
I’ll meet you there

Ugh I detest myself. It’s so hard to express everything yet so hard to keep it all inside.

Results’re coming out tomorrow. Time passes really quickly eh?(: Yup well went for 2co party yesterday and it was really really really fun! I LOVE MY CLASS yay. I’m gonna be really sad to leave 2c0. But as they say, all good things come to an end.

Last night when i got back, i finally deleted you off my list and it felt GOOD (: Perhaps now I can finally forget. Well maybe not forget but not be reminded of you so often. Anyway I’m glad of everything that happened, it taught me a lot. Thank you (:

Oh and I forgot to mention, I got braces! *grins* The wire’s been tearing at my cheek flesh for the past three days. Gross eh? Haha. Anna says I talk different now. Hopefully, it aint that bad. (: Actually wanted to get black but it’d look like my teeth’ve decayed or smth so i took orange instead. Bet _ doesnt like my braces, do you? Haha poor thing.

JIAHUI! Ohmygosh hahaha you’re really really funny you know? Really adorable and funny. www.cheryl’sbookofknowledge.com? I MADE IT UP!!!! Hahahaha you’re really funny. I dont believe you actually went to check haha. *gurgles and falls to the floor*

Well im gonna go check out khoon’s pics that she posted on her blog now (: G’bye

A good daughter is one

who is a robot

who is a person

who listens to her mother’s word without argument

who listens to her mother’s word screaming inside

who does everything perfectly

who tries to do everything perfectly

who has no opinions of her own but her mother

who has opinions of her own that she wants heard

who keeps all her emotions in check

who hides her anger and sorrow behind a smiling face

who loves her mother

who hates her mother

who follows her mother’s screwed up ideas about everything

who hates her mother’s screwed up ideas

who goes along with all her mother’s plans to show her off

who hates being a doll for her mother to dress up and show off

who has to grow up faster than she is or her mother’ll call her stupid

who tries to grow up faster but hurts in the process

who wears clothes that her mother wants her to

who wants to wear clothes that make her feel comfortable walking around

who looks older

who looks older but feels like a kid

who is a kid but pretends to be older

who pretends to be older but wants to be a kid

who has material love

who doesn’t want material love but a mother who wld care a tiny bit more about her emotions and feelings

who has to be filial

who has to be filial or people will blame the daughter for being ungrateful

who has a demanding mother

who wishes everyday that her mother wld become more understanding, less demanding

who listens to her mother barking out commands

who wishes that she wasnt treated like a soldier

who has a mother who thinks she’s always right

who wants a mother who realises her mistakes just as much as she tells her daugher how stupid and dumb she is when she makes a mistake

A good daughter i have to be

A good daughter i hate to be

EXAMS ARE OVER!

Yayie haha (: Actually nothing feels different, just all the free time i guess haha. Yup today went out with lisa, anna and khoon. BALLS OF FURY Hahaha thought it was quite funny. Yup ate kfc, went to heeren and got the boys like girls cd! Thanks khoon! (: Haha oh before that, after our exam, we wentto play a bit then khoon started running then i was like “hey i havent ran in reeeally reeeally long and my stamina’s gonna be like shit” So i started running too haha. Think everyone ran their 10 rounds already except me :/ Yup so did ten rounds then played two on two with lis, anna and khoon. Haha I was so tired la, think my stamina dropped ALOT. Yeah and I forgot to stretch too so my thighs are aching. Mm after that went back and saw andrea and alexia. They were in the multi with darwin and the other guy,randall i think?Haha yeah so went up to the gym and did 50 of the leg thing, 100 pulling thing (ohman i dont know what they’re called haha) then went down to the multi and slacked heh. Darwin and the other guy started throwing paper balls, like wth la -.- Then marcus came in. Man he’s damn annoying and gross. Think his half mad. Haha yup so we left then went to play some form of ball game with alexia andrea and ter friend.I think they’re pretty amusing, reminds me of when i was younger ahwells. Josh was walking around with some weird guy. Then i stole the guys ball cause they were kicking it at us wth la -.- Started kicking it at us trying to knock us stupid asses. So i took their ball and asked them to dance the chicken dance heh. Then marcus kicked over the dustbin and kicked the lid towards me and it came whizzing like some shit thing. And cant really remember what happened but think we were trying to injure each other with the dustbin lid and it crashed against my ankle :/ Metal and very painful heh. Think it swelled up again and good job, it hit the ankle that i sprained. Haha ahwells nvm. Then they wanted to get their ball back so they came over and tried to beat me up -.- I tell you ah, marcus’s got a wicked temper. Such an ass man. Well pretty much my fault too, shouldnt have taken their ball ahwells (: Wait till _ comes back and teaches me properly then i wldnt get injured any longer

Ice skating tomorrow! Hoipe it’ll be fun haha. Well im gonna play now, bye!

Finally, the difficult papers’re over (: Actually it doesnt really feel that different. Maybe cause the hols aint here yet (: Days and days of freedom yaye. Mm not freedom exactly.If my papers arent well done there’d be scoldings and lectures. But that’s just the way of life I guess. Or maybe its just how it is in singapore. Haha I cant believe what happened in the exam room today. First time it happened, guess theres a first time for everything. Hope it’l never never happen again yup.

Yucks I think there’s something wrong with me. I’m supposed to be feeling happy that I wont need to study like crazy anymore but somehow, i’m not really happy. Haha its kinda stupid actually, but i cant help it. Last paper tomorrow!

I cant help it, but i want you

Things’ve been kinda different lately, shadnt say much, just that i dont feel myself. Well the major papers’re over, guess its time to have fun. Just two more papers and we’re done. Time flies eh, before we know it, the exams’re gonna be over. Ahwells just wish everything’d go back to normal. Or maybe it just never was